=== FINAL CHAPTER: SHINING FORCE FOREVER ===

(opening cutscene)
[1]
R: Clumsy.
A: "Yes, but their schemes caused a deep friendship to form between us. It's an outcome they never planned for."

[2]
R: This doesn't connect to Synbios' previous line ("I never considered that these events could be linked together by destiny.")
A: "They are, Synbios. That's why I'm here to guide you."

[3]
R: This is the point I discussed with you before about Force of Light vs champions of the light. After determining that both are valid I'm going to try and adjust to the latter because it flows much better. (Also because a single person promoting to a Force of Light doesn't make much sense.)
A: "Some members of our army have yet to be promoted to champions of the light."

[4]
R: Extremely stiff.
A: "We need to become champions of the light to reach our full potential in the final battle...We need more time to accomplish this."

[5]
R: Again, stiff as heck.
A: "Not all of my soldiers have been promoted to champions of the light. In our current state, we would surely fall to the Bulzome Sect."

[6]
R: Trying to avoid an exact repetition of Synbios' comment in 4.
A: "If we want to do our part, it's vital our units receive that promotion...We need more time to prepare."

[76]
R: Stiff.
A: "I can also offer the blessings required to become a champion of the light. Performing the ceremony myself will allow Gracia to get some rest."

[7]
R: "Get" is kind of a clumsy word choice. Also it was listed as 'Ruins of the Wise' everywhere else so I'm thinking it's a typo here.
A: "The Ruins of the Wise lie through the eastern door. Visit them if you feel you require more training."

=== REMOTEST CHURCH ===

So from what I can tell, every single leader has a unique set of dialogue with every named character in the church. That includes all three HQs. So I'm going to be here for a while...

<SYNBIOS>

[8]
R: This dialogue only plays when you're controlling Synbios, so Dantares shouldn't be talking about him in the third person.
A: "You almost froze to death in Dormant Cave. I was surprised how quickly you recovered in the hot spring."

[9]
R: Stiff.
A: "It was a surprise to learn that King Benetram is a descendant of the ancient Navigator. Your father, Conrad, must have known about it."

[10]
R: Ordering in the second half.
A: "My father's abduction started this war, but it also caused our fates to merge."

[11]
R: Stiff, and third person weirdness again.
A: "Medion views you as a friend, and the two of you work well together. The prince has rarely felt a bond like this, perhaps even never."

[12]
R: This and followup 12a are very stiff.
A: "We haven't had much time to develop a friendship since the expedition began, but I hope we have a chance to become closer." "After all, there's no guaranteed both of us will survive the coming battle."

[13]
R: Very rough.
A: "When we fled from the volcano we feared the Julian army might have been caught in the eruption, but they managed to escape after all."

So it's becoming very clear at this point that these translations didn't take into account that there was only one playable character who could possibly hear them. I'm just going to list these as Third Person Weirdness (or TPW) from now on. While this would probably still make sense in the original Japanese, in English referring to someone in third person while they're right in front of you would be extremely awkward.
Instances of 'the Synbios/Medion/Julian army' are somewhat more forgiveable and might not get noted, but singular references are right out.

[14]
R: Third person weirdness, and also just kinda odd.
A: "When your life hung by a thread in Dormant, our army's fate dangled alongside you...yet here we are in Remotest."

[15]
R: TPW.
A: "When you were facing death in that cave after the Rainbloods captured us...We thought we were going to die along with you."

[16]
R: Irene forgot her speech impediment.
A: "Three armies will battle together? That will bring good fortune. Three is lucky number...We must celebrate with bowl of powerful noodles!"

[17]
R: Second half is awkward.
A: "At some point, General Produn got Stella pregnant...all while we were toiling on the battlefield. That sly dog..."

[18]
R: Last sentence repeats 'nervous' and flows poorly.
A: "No one here is nervous...but I'm so worried that I'm feeling faint."

[19]
R: What does this mean??? (For reference he's talking about Angry Merc Julian from scenario 1.)
A: "Back then his eyes were hungry for blood, like a sword searching for something to cut."

[20]
R: TPW.
A: "After you were captured by Yasha, you were subjected to extreme cold. To be honest, I thought it was all over..."

[21]
R: Clumsy.
A: "For some reason I'm thinking of General Tybalt, even though he betrayed us."

[22]
R: TPW, and generally stiff. Same with followup 22a.
A: "After talking with your army, I realised Prince Medion is putting a lot of faith in you." "He's incurred the emperor's wrath, and now he's a marked man in the Empire."

[23]
R: Stiff.
A: "This battle is our first priority, but rebuilding the Republic's important too. Several territories will have to re-organize and appoint new leaders."

[24]
R: TPW.
A: "I heard you almost died on the northern continent."

[25]
R: TPW.
A: "Your army could have taken revenge on us in Balsamo, but you forgave us instead."

[26]
R: TPW, and also kind of confusing. Nothing happened to Hazuki specifically, so she shouldn't be the one getting avenged.
A: "Is it true that you lured Yasha into a trap to avenge my father?"

[27]
R: Stiff second sentence.
A: "You were concerned for Waltz when she was suffering...I appreciated that."

[28]
R: TPW.
A: "During our march, I heard quite a lot about you."

[29]
R: TPW and especially mangled as a result.
A: "So you served as Julian's leader once? When this battle ends, I may cross swords with you...to polish my invincible Yagyu blade!"

[30]
R: Last sentence is rough.
A: "Please lend us your strength to help rescue her!"

<MEDION>

[31]
R: This and the followup 31a are clumsy.
A: "It's amazing you made it out of the Empire after escorting your father home to Destonia, Medion." "Don't worry about what the future holds for you there. Aspia will gladly welcome you."

[32]
R: TPW, and clunky.
A: "I'm only realising now how poorly the Empire treated you, simply because your mother was a commoner."

[33]
R: TPW. See also 33a and 33b.
A: "I must apologize to you. We did some damage while we were in the Empire." "The people were told we had come at your request." "So our actions may have made things more difficult for you..."

[34]
R: TPW.
A: "I was concerned when you left for Destonia. Would you even return? But everything has worked out."

[35]
R: TPW. Also needs a better link to the next line 35a.
A: "Even though this battle will be a matter of life and death, you seem comfortable here." "Much moreso than in the Empire, with all its betrayals and corruption."

[36]
R: Rough, and more pronoun oddness?
A: "We knew right away the abandoned ship in the Frozen Sea belonged to the Medion army, and we made haste to catch up with you."

[37]
R: TPW.
A: "If your ship had left any later, it would've been disastrous."

[38]
R: First sentence is messy, and also confused. Horst and the Synbios army weren't on the battleship, Medion's army were.
A: "We were surprised your battleship had the power to carry you to the Frozen Sea."

[39]
R: TPW.
A: "My younger brother Zero was left in your care."

[40]
R: I got confused for a moment until I realised Hagane is talking about the fight at the very end of Scenario 2.
A: "Your army defeated Yashas. Hazuki must have yearned to deliver the final blow."

[41]
R: Completely unnecessary -- lines.
A: "Aiyaa! You seen my master?"

[42]
R: Stiff, and again Frank usually just says his Grrs.
A: Growl...I'm half-canine, so I don't get on well with a half-feline."

[43]
R: Robby picked up Irene's speech impediment???
A: "-buzz- Destination confirmed...-pluke- In the event of victory...-buzz- Return to base in Elbesem..."

[44]
R: Doesn't connect properly to her previous line (about how she's strangely calm even now).
A: "I can't allow myself to drop my guard, though."

[45]
R: Stiff. (Also is the Sacred Cup an established term/written in katakana? Because given his name is Arthur it seems extremely likely that they're referring to the Holy Grail.)
A: "I have a feeling I'll find the Sacred Cup here. It's the reason I started my quest in the first place."

[46]
R: First sentence is weirdly ordered.
A: "My father and I were pursuing Yasha, but it seems he has been slain by the Julian army."

[47]
R: Awkward.
A: "We relaxed after passing the volcano. We weren't ready for the Frozen Sea, and lost as a result."

[48]
R: I'm putting all of these Pappets issues together with 48a/48b since they're variations on the same point. The capitalisation is weird for Synbios and Medion ('The' should not be capitalised) but Julian's has no capital at all and suddenly refers to the seer as Baba. Unsure if this is a relic of an old translation, since Baba is a somewhat childish term for 'grandma' in Japanese.
A: "The old seer said to follow Medion, the Dragon from the Empire." "Lord Synbios, you seem to be the person the old seer called the Tiger." "Julian, you seem to be the Wolf that appeared in the seer's divination..."

[49]
R: TPW.
A: "Jane was taken to Bulzome Temple because she helped the Medion army. It's only right you lend us your strength to help save her."

[50]
R: TPW.
A: "I know you don't like to talk about that battle...but I couldn't believe my ears when I heard you say you were going to defeat us."

[51]
R: Stiff.
A: "A successor to the lion-hearted emperor...frankly a lot of the candidates are weak, but you seem to be different, Prince Medion."

[52]
R: Wait WHAT? I'm going to assume Cyclops is playing it safe and bluffing here, because there has been ZERO sign that he's not still working with Father Scholar. Anyway, stiff.
A: "I may have worked with the Resistance once, but I've washed my hands of them completely. You have no need to worry, Prince."

[53]
R: Turk's developed a speech impediment. I think the translator mistook this for an Orga line?
A: "I don't know much about the Empire...Can you do a lot of eating there? If so...count me and Orga in!"

[54]
R: TPW, and stiff.
A: "Seems neither of us can talk to dragons or unicorns. Only Cyclops the dragonman and Rollie the unicorn have any idea what they're saying."

[55]
R: TPW.
A: "I'm so relieved you've regained your senses. You're back to being my dear, reliable big brother. I'm praying for your success at the east tower!"

<JULIAN>

[56]
R: Tense oddness.
A: "I've lost my homeland, and the Rainbloods even tried to kill me..."

[57]
R: Incomprehensible. Grantack's point here is 'we were ready for Destonia to be destroyed like Aspia was, but you saved it', so the first line says the opposite of that. I'm going to offer an alternative that makes more sense, but this line DEFINITELY needs a retranslation.
A: "When we returned to Destonia, we thought the capital would have met the same fate as Aspia." "But Destonia still stood. The Empire was just how we remembered it. I don't have the words to express my gratitude."

[58]
R: Weak ending.
A: "Yet the Rainbloods were sent, so he must have been seething with rage at the prince."

[59]
R: TPW.
A: "You fell over the waterfall...are you immortal? And you've shown such magificent command of Gracia's Legendary Expedition...how mysterious."

[60]
R: Stiff.
A: "Supposedly there is a ninja that even the mighty Yasha is no match for. Yasha called him Rodi. I'd like to see his abilities for myself."

[61]
R: Clumsy.
A: "The moment Synbios recovered, he went back to leading from the front lines. There's no sign anything was ever wrong with him."

[62]
R: Rough, and too much 'army' is overused.
A: "Julian...You've gone from the Symbios army to the Medion army, and now you're leading a force of your own..."

[63]
R: First sentence is clumsy.
A: "I was in Produn's army once, but after we split up I thought I'd never see him again."

[64]
R: TPW, and this and 64a are stiff.
A: "We still consider you part of the Medion army, so I'm sure Syntesis will say something brash to you." "She's still pretty immature, but I like that about her...You never know what she'll say next!"

[65]
R: Awkward second sentence, and Hera's next line isn't great either.
A: "But the Godchild was concerned about the Medion army, so I remained with the prince." "I spent the whole journey fearing for the Godchild's safety..."

[66]
R: "On board" needs better context. Also ordering.
A: "Back on the ship, you looked pretty cool when you offered to head to Destonia."

[67]
R: TPW.
A: "Since we parted ways, our army has faced some difficult situations."

[68]
R: Donhort has NEVER called Julian Master before.
A: "Julian..."

[69]
R: First sentence is a classic ~KateLine~
A: "All of the armies will go into battle at the same time..."

[70]
R: Needs a comma.
A: "Mmm, waaaarm."

[71]
R: Also needs a comma.
A: "You're kind of cute, Julian..."

[72]
R: First sentence is odd.
A: "Jane's energy is faint..."

[73]
R: Clunky first sentence.
A: "The woman who manipulated me, Bulzome High Priestess Basanda, is still alive in Bulzome Temple."

[74]
R: See 53.
A: "Me and Orga were born in the north. We can't stand this heat. Let's hurry and beat Bulzome fast."

[75]
R: Stiff.
A: "Using the Medion army against us...Just the sort of foul play the Bulzome Sect is known for!"

[77]
R: Not really the sound people make in English when they're interrupted.
A: "Huh?"

[78]
R: You don't actually get an option to let Unoma in, he kind of forces his way in regardless.
A: "Unoma the Master joined the force...by force?!"

[79]
R: Stiff.
A: "You've got a lot of cuties here, by the way."

OK, I believe that's all the character-specific dialogues dealt with. Now it's time for the rest of

=== REMOTEST CATHEDRAL ===

[80]
R: Consistency edit.
A: "Do you wish to receive the blessing and be promoted into champions of the light?"

[81]/[81a]
R: Clunky.
A: "The Legendary Expedition wields the power of light. Once you've been blessed, you'll have nothing to fear from dark powers." "That's why the Shining Force is the ultimate force against evil in this world."

[82]
R: Weirdly phrased.
A: "In the name of Elbesem and the light, I reward your tireless efforts with this blessing!"

[83]
R: Stiff.
A: "It appears none among you are ready to become champions of the light."

[84]
R: Rough start. (I'm trying to maintain that they're the Force of Light/Shining Force as a group, but champions of the light when talked about separately or regarding promotion.)
A: "Force of Light, heroes of the Legendary Expedition...from now on, you shall be called the Shining Force!"

[85]/[85a]
R: Clumsy.
A: "In the 1,000 year history of Remotest, many of our allies have defected to Bulzome's side." "Living a just life brings many hardships, and it's very easy to succumb to the call of evil."

[86]
R: Stiff.
A: "For 1,000 years, the forces of good and evil have coexisted in Remotest. But the power of darkness has grown, and that fragile balance has been destroyed. Now only you can save us all!"

[87]/[87a]
R: Clumsy.
A: "Remotest is divided up so we can live alongside the Bulzome Sect, but it hasn't been easy." "Without the power of light protecting the cathedral, we never would have lasted this long."

[88]
R: Missing a word.
A: "The Bulzome priests and Vandals have been biding their time and growing stronger."

[89]
R: There was only one singular Dark Priest.
A: "There was a rumour in the Bulzome controlled areas that one of the Dark Priests was defeated...and it really happened!"

[90]
R: Second sentence is odd.
A: "Their training makes them remarkably hard to kill."

[91]
R: I'd reorder this.
A: "Now that Remotest's summer has ended, isn't it too cold to go on an expedition?"

[92]
R: Avoid repetition of 'business'.
A: "...but the Bulzome merchants are making crazy profits."

[93]
R: Confusing. I'm writing it to be clearer under the assumption that it's an extension of the Oracle's comments on the Creator - He doesn't intend to intervene if darkness wins, He'll just wait for the slate to clean itself and start again.
A: "When darkness veiled the land, many turned to the Creator for salvation. But the heavens were silent, and only after much strife did balance return to the world."

[94]
R: Awkward. Is this implying that the anonymity provided by the masks allows people to be cruel, or that the masks themselves have some innate power to corrupt people?
A: "The masks of the Bulzome monks are said to allow their wearers to perform cruel deeds their morality would never allow."

=== REMOTEST ===

[95]
R: Unclear sense of time. 95a is also weirdly worded.
A: "Some time ago, Jane was grieving in Quonus. Her mother had suddenly fallen ill and passed away." "At that moment her powers awakened. She inherited the blood of her mother, and had the support of Lord Bulzome."

[96]
R: Stiff and less clear than it could be.
A: "So you've found the secret of JuMeSyn, eh? You think you've got a chance at victory because the three of you are special? Hehe, too how stupid. You're so naive!"

[97]
R: Unnatural.
A: "Heeey! This mask is a disguise, and the truth is I'm just a normal civilian. Help me!"

It took me until the NPCs in the Bulzome church to piece together that Jane's dad is Garvin. For some reason I've had it locked in my head that her dad was Bulzome the whole time.
(Also the Bulzome church might be the best written area in the whole game. Kudos to whoever was responsible for that.)

[98]
R: I'm struggling to parse what this line is trying to say? My guess is he's berating you for walking around with weapons drawn threatening a bunch of civilians. Might still be worth a retranslation though.
A: "You guys talk about going to war with us, but we don't even have enough hands to run the armory. Stop trying to rile up the townsfolk, will you?"

=== RUINS OF THE WISE / HERO'S TEST ===

[99]
(Palsis advice screen)
R: Stiff. I think the intention here is to remind you that you need to finish all the floors in one shot and it's about endurance?
A: "Synbios, keep in mind we'll have to push through several floors of enemies to reach the bottom. We must find the strength to persevere."

[100]
R: Also stiff.
A: "It's key to seize the initiative in battle, but tracking your opponent's movements is also important."

[101]
R: Mechanical.
A: "If you can conquer the Ruins of the Wise, they will grant you a power that even Bulzome will fear."

[102]
R: 'Satisfactory' is a bit weak and vague.
A: "If the enemies on a given floor don't pose enough of a challenge, try defeating the boss in the center."

[103]
R: Weird capitalisation in the item description? Possibly a leftover from a previous version where 'Completely' wasn't used.
A: "Completely recovers everyone's MP"

=== BATTLE 28/29/30 ===

[104]
R: Awkward.
A: "We can't forget to signal each other after we've accomplished our missions."

[105]/[105a]
R: Ordered weirdly?
A: "Since you managed to defeat Fiale and Basanda, I assumed we'd need every soldier we could get." "But if your force is this small, I can afford to send some troops to aid those on the path to the temple."

[106]
R: Generally odd.
A: "I can't wait to see the Republic's greatest hero perish in glorious battle. Show me your strength!"

[107]
R: Stiff.
A: "Synbios, if they're planning to send reinforcements to stop the Julian army, we need to keep their forces occupied and break their formation."

[108]
R: Stiff for Syntesis, and the emphasis at the end is placed strangely. (Her death message in chapter 6 did something similar, where she says it's 'SO very rude' instead of 'so VERY rude' or 'so very RUDE', but I was unsure if I should bring it up. Now it's happened again I think I should mention it.)
A: "Really...You aren't? I am. We're going up against the mighty Bulzome. We can't afford to fail...I am PETRIFIED."

[109]
R: Second sentence is unnatural.
A: "It will make your death all the more thrilling!"

[110]
R: Weak.
A: "Ugh...So this is the Synbios army...I see how you defeated two of our high priests, and survived the perilous journey to Remotest."

[111]
R: 'Strong' is too vague and weak. Also changing up the second sentence so it leads better into 112.
A: "My dark power was unrivaled! I was supposed to be invincible!"

[112]
R: Unnatural.
A: "But the Julian army..the light power they wield...it's so strong, even my dark power is no match for it!"

[113]/[113a]
R: "You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!" - The Robot Devil, Futurama
(Again I understand this is a stylistic choice so it's more subjective than most of my suggestions.)
A: "All of this misery is Bulzome's fault...Thinking about it makes my blood boil!" "I feel the same way, Isabella. Let that anger fuel you in the fight against Bulzome."

=== BATTLE 31 ===

[114]
R: Second sentence is very clunky.
A: "It's a perfect example of how the child of a light being and a dark being can be greater than the sum of their parts."

[115]
R: Repetition of 'Lord Bulzome' is unnecessary.
A: "...has landed you in his dark barrier..."

[116]
R: Weirdly worded.
A: "Her body's light power stops her from escaping my dark barrier...but her own dark powers are too weak to destroy it."

[117]
R: Rough second half.
A: "As soon as we defeat Julian, Jane will be free of his spell and Lord Bulzome will spare her from his wrath."

[118]
R: This one's a general comment, but several characters use 'force of light' in this scene. Wasn't that capitalised in earlier iterations? Just a consistency thing.

[119]
R: Messy. I've spent maybe half an hour trying to figure out what in the seven hells this line is trying to say. After much MUCH deliberation the reading I've ended up on is this: Gracia is saying that Bulzome has as much of a right to exist as anyone else (which is the 'presence' part) but he's been forced to take action because Bulzome's trying to rebuild the Thousand Year Kingdom.
A: "I'd bear no ill will if you had chosen to live peacefully. But you're trying to rebuild the kingdom of terror you ruled 1,000 years ago!"

[120]
A: See above. For this line I've actually got a video of a Japanese playthrough up for comparison, and I want to guess that this line was maybe misinterpreted? I think Bulzome's actually saying that Gracia's got the same goal Bulzome does - it's just that he's trying to win a victory for the light rather than the darkness. Two sides of the same coin. The classic 'we're not so different' argument from the villain.
R: "Heh...and you think yourself different, Innovator? We are both birthed from the same origin...which means your goals are hardly different from mine."

[121]
R: Again, looking at the Japanese script I think this was misinterpeted. Gracia isn't giving a basic 'I don't know about that' reply here. He's saying 'I can't reject that reasoning, but even still-'
A: "You might have a point...but still, I can't tolerate the sort of world you're trying to create."

[122]
R: Second half might have been misinterpreted looking at JP - he's not claiming he'll be the ruler, he's asking 'let's see which of us will rule'. Which is why Gracia counters with 'the world doesn't need a ruler' right after.
A: "My thoughts exactly, Innovator. Let us see which of us is worthy of controlling this world."

[123]
R: Same adjustment for 122.
A: "This world doesn't need to be ruled by anyone...and I'll prove it!"

[124]
R: Clumsy.
A: "We've combined our powers to protect Lord Bulzome with this impenetrable barrier. It will not fall as long as one of us still lives!"

[125]
R: Not really clear what 'deprive him of his power' means in this context. Also the sentence after this (125a) is completely unnecessary because he already said that two lines ago.
A: "Then we have to weaken Bulzome until we can seal him away."

[126]
R: Ordering.
A: "Is that clear? Both of you, our fate is in your hands!"

[127]
R: Doesn't make sense. Double checked the JP script, and I think the middle part is talking about how Bulzome revived him/gave him new power and he lost anyway. The same sort of thing Basanda said, in short.
A: "Gah! I've been defeated...Even with the new life and strength Lord Bulzome granted me, I couldn't stop the force of light..."

(Jane cutscene turn after killing Dessheren)
[128]
R: "Turned dark" is awkward.
A: "Ah! The barrier's light has gone out!"

[129]
R: Childish.
A: "Jane is overcome by rage...the dark power in her body is taking over!"

[130]
R: Ordering.
A: "You killed my sister, Julian army...I won't forgive you!"

[131]
R: Clumsy.
A: "Unthinkable...the Julian army has managed to defeat all three of my priests...

[132]
R: Overly wordy.
A: "More importantly, that means the barrier they created will...!"

[133]
R: Awkward.
A: "Come, Innovator! I shall devour you and your precious army!"

(Jane dies)
[134]
R: Clumsy, slightly nonsensical.
A: "It's regrettable we had to defeat Jane, but she would have killed us if we didn't intervene...it was our only choice. How tragic..."

[135]/[135a]
R: Clumsy, and I don't understand why this script is so desperate to avoid using the word 'kill'.
A: "You didn't intend to do that to Jane, did you?" "You must have thought draining her stamina would bring her back to her senses. But you've killed her instead..."

[136]
R: Still dislike the use of 'vitality' here. Second sentence is overly flowery.
A: "Bulzome's energy is spent. He can't fight any longer."

[137]
R: Clumsy.
A: "You fools...Did you truly think brute force would be enough to kill a Vandal?!"

[138]
R: "descendents" typo again, and awkward.
A: "Perhaps my kin, the lesser Vandals, fear mortality like you humans do, but to a true Vandal there is no such thing as death!"

[139]
R: See 136.
A: "You mean...no amount of physical damage can stop a Vandal...?"

[140]
R: Bulzome just hit him with a really pointed question here. Gracia should be a bit hesitant.
A: "I've...never really thought about it."

[141]
R: Rough.
A: "My ancestor sealed you so that another way to vanquish you could be found."

[142]
R: First sentence feels stiff.
A: "That caused the forces of light and darkness to collide with incredible force."

[143]
R: Again, stiff.
A: "The explosion caused by the collision was so powerful, even Bulzome couldn't survive it."

[144]
R: See 136.
A: "They are also beings who cannot be killed by any conventional means."

[145]
R: Stiff.
A: "The only way they can be truly destroyed...is by cancelling each other out."

[146]
R: Overly wordy and stiff.
A: "I don't know, but after we forced our way out of the country to join the Legendary Expedition, we probably won't be going back to the Empire anytime soon."

[147]
R: What? What did Bulzome say? What is Isabella talking about here??? Was the comment he made about her dying also a mistranslation??? Definitely look at the lines from 135 for retranslation because something is VERY wrong here.

[148]/[148a]
R: This line makes NO SENSE. Why would Keeper's job be hard now that Bulzome is gone? Again I'm going to assume this was a mistranslation about how now Keeper doesn't have anything to do so he might as well go sightseeing in the south.
A: "Bulzome's presence in Remotest has been wiped out. I suppose that means you won't have much to do anymore, Keeper..." "In that case, visit us and we'll give you a tour of the southern region. You're welcome anytime!"

[149]
R: Stiff and repetitive.
A: "but heading north to Sorrow this late in the season..."

(Jane survives)

[150]
R: Awkward.
A: "All of his charisma and prowess in battle...will be buried under the snow of the northern continent."

[151]
R: Repetition of 'journey' from the previous line.
A: "You had best prepare for the difficult trip ahead."

=== REMOTEST, AFTER THE FINAL BATTLE ===

[152]
R: Unnaturally worded.
A: "Bulzome's followers relied on him for guidance, and now they're lost without him. Should we encourage them to follow Elbesem?"

[153]
R: This has to be a mistake. A grown man does not ask a legendary hero to come over and play.
A: "It'd be an honour to have you visit my house as a guest someday."

[154]
R: There were three Dark Priests, not one.
A: "The high priests, the Dark Priests, and even Bulzome himself..."

[155]
R: Stiff.
A: "Bulzome is dead...do you really think his closest followers believe that?"

[156]
R: Unnatural.
A: "We thought Bulzome was immortal, but at the moment he was defeated flashes of light and darkness filled the city."

[157]
R: "Other southern region soldiers" sounds rough.
A: "The other soldiers from the south who freed Remotest have returned home."

[158]
R: Most of the books in the library room have COMPLETELY different translations after the final battle. Compare this with 93, for example.
A: I don't even know which of these translations is accurate at this point, but this one at least makes more sense than 93 did.

[159]
R: Trainwreck.
A: "We knew that Bulzome would lead us out of the northern continent somehow, but we weren't expecting his death to be a part of the process."

[160]
R: Needlessly wordy.
A: "He was a swordsman known as Arthur, who was trying to escape the troubles of the world."

[161]
R: Unnatural second sentence.
A: "It seems that Jane, who has languished in sadness for so long, might find happiness at last."

[162]
R: Last sentence is informal and kind of unnatural.
A: "It's a harsh and brutal place to live."

(Jane lives)

[163]
R: Unnatural.
A: "Jane wants to go to Sorrow so she can recover from the wounds the war has inflicted on her heart."