[1]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: First sentence needs reworked to emphasise the new information (the fact they got beaten here because the Imperials travelled by sea). Kate seems to get a lot of the stiff dialogue for some reason.
Alternative: "Travelling by sea let them get here first. There's probably an ambush waiting for us at the harbour. This is bad..."

[2]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: A bit long, and 'resistance' is a poor choice of word given that Steel brings up the actual Resistance in the next line.
Alternative: "I'm surprised you reached the continental harbour, despite Imperial opposition and the Barrier Fortress."

[3]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: Steel should be more upfront about the 'UNLESS' part of this clause, since he's replying to Kate's comment that it's neutral land.
Alternative: "This territory is only considered neutral as long as the balance between the Republic and the Empire is maintained."

[4]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: Second sentence is weak and awkward.
Alternative: "However, Prince Medion is only human...If he sees he can take the Republic by conquest, he'll strike down his own friend if he has to."

[5]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: First sentence is a mess.
Alternative: "The son of Conrad, traitor to the Empire...I've heard he's friends with Medion. Watching them cross blades should prove quite interesting."

[6]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: Cuts off in an unnatural spot.
Alternative: "You're obviously surprised. Even I didn't know I'd end up here..."

[7]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: Long, with a confusing order of clauses.
Alternative: "That boy has sought my freedom since he learned I had tired of palace life, but to think he would assist an invasion..."

[8]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: Again Kate gets a lot of the really awkward dialogue, it seems.
Alternative: "Lady Melinda is a good woman... Even if Prince Medion is leading an invasion, he deserves to see his mother..."

[9]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: This line simply makes no sense. They've just said the emperor wants to deliver Melinda to Medion, but now the emperor won't allow that? My guess is that she's to be delivered AFTER Aspia is conquered, not before, and Kate's suggestion of sending her to see Medion on the front lines is absolutely not okay. This might need a translator to double-check.
Alternative: "You expect too much... Do you think the emperor would let you send his former wife to a battlefield?"

[10]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: Assuming Melinda is talking about the rumours of the original message and the threat to her life, her comment should probably be more specific than a generic 'everything is okay'.
Alternative: "It's alright. The danger has passed now."

[11]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: Somewhat awkward.
Alternative: "Lady Melinda, this could be a dangerous place to tell your story. What if someone hears us...?"

[12]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: 'in the headquarters in the village' is very clunky.
Alternative: "...so we can continue our discussion at the village headquarters."

[13]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: Awkward ordering of clauses. (Also might be worth replacing 'ship' with 'Executor'?)
Alternative: "I sensed the emperor's ill will when he gave me the letter, so I showed it to the general. He was trapped on the ship at the time."

[14]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: Meandering second sentence. 'Sinking' probably shouldn't be repeated either.
Alternative: "The ship was on the verge of sinking. If he was focused on the letter despite the threat of a watery grave, its contents must have been extremely important."

[15]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: Some tense weirdness.
Alternative: "I don't know exactly what it said...but General Rogan told me if Prince Mageron received this letter, Prince Medion's freedom would be taken away!"

[16]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: This sentence feels unnatural, and Brigit has been established as a little less formal anyway.
Alternative: "They want us to escort Melinda to Prince Medion, but we don't even know where he is."

[17]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: This sentence is odd. The clauses aren't really connected, and the intended point (Medion had no other option) is hard to parse.
Alternative: "Prince Medion wanted no part of the invasion. But without any ships available, the only way back home was through Headland and into Aspia."

[18]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: "That's impossible" is a strange choice of followup to Bresby's previous line (18a). Also odd comma placement.
Alternative: "He can't do anything, Bresby...The general is with the Domaric army, and their advisor Fiderit is keeping a close eye on him."

[19]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: Awkward wording.
Alternative: "Now I've heard the whole story, I think I know what the emperor's letter said. I can guess at his true intentions, as well."

[20]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: More awkward wording.
Alternative: "Father's true intentions...? I don't understand, Gracia. Could you explain?"

[21]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: Strange clause order makes Gracia's meaning less clear. The emphasis is meant to be that Medion HAD to march to Aspia because the ship was gone and he was stranded in Republican territory.
Alternative: "Remember, Prince Medion was forced to travel through Aspia. Garvin stole his ship during the emperor's rescue, correct?"

[22]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: Again, could be clearer about the specifics of the plan - the travel through Aspia gives Domaric a great chance for conquest.
Alternative: "The emperor surely wants to reclaim the Republican territories he lost in the War of Independence. And since their route happens to pass through Aspia..."

[23]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: Overuse of 'father' and 'Medion'.
Alternative: "My brother Medion is weak when it comes to father. Father's love for him has always been thin, so he has toiled hard in the hope of being recognised."

[24]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: Up until now the letter has been discussed in the past tense, so this slip into the present tense is odd.
Alternative: "...The purpose of the letter was to rush Prince Medion..."

[25]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: "Mission" is a poor choice of word, given that in the original plan her 'mission' would have been to be a hostage.
Alternative: "...and that's why he involved Lady Melinda, right?"

[26]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: Tense weirdness.
Alternative: "Domaric would do it...He would do anything to regain control of the Republican territories...!"

[27]
Location: Chapter 3, opening cutscene
Reasoning: "Can" is the wrong choice of word, since they're talking about their plans for the immediate future.
Alternative: "Well then, Lady Melinda...will be escorted to Aspia!"

[28]
Location: Guarder HQ
Reasoning: Very stiff. (Unsure if the first clause needs clarifying that she knows the Empire's cruelty?)
Alternative: "Lady Melinda knows the Empire well, but she's putting on a brave face. I think she's hurting inside."

[29]
Location: Guarder HQ
Reasoning: Another oddly stiff Kate line.
Alternative: "I was worried when I saw the Imperial fleet in Guarder. But General Rogan managed to trick Prince Mageron by targeting his fear of the emperor."

[30]
Location: Guarder HQ
Reasoning: There's been no mention up to this point of Brutus acting suspicious, so Donhort should be introducing that information here.
Alternative: "He's been acting suspiciously ever since the peace conference broke down."

[31]
Location: Guarder [House opposite the HQ, downstairs]
Reasoning: Second sentence flows better with the clauses reversed.
Alternative: "They're very important for ships."

[32]
Location: Guarder Pub
Reasoning: "With the war" on its own reads strangely.
Alternative: "Thanks to the war,"

[33]
Location: Guarder Pub
Reasoning: Last sentence is strange. I assume the intended meaning is he's insisting he won't pass out from the work, but it's addressed indirectly.
Alternative: "I need a drink or something. I swear I'm not gonna pass out!"

[34]
Location: Guarder
Reasoning: Northernmost is one word.
Alternative: "At the northernmost point of the continental route..."

[35]
Location: Guarder, corner house next to the weapon store
Reasoning: 'We' makes no sense here. This guy's a civilian, not a soldier.
Alternative: "When the Imperial battleship entered Baersol territory, the Baersol army started marching south. What are they thinking? They should be fighting the Imperials!"

[36]
Location: Guarder
Reasoning: 'Fortress' repetition.
Alternative: "You did well to pass through the checkpoint."

[37]
Location: Guarder, house next to the weapon store
Reasoning: Poorly worded.
Alternative: "Then the Republic was formed, and after countless battles this became neutral ground."

[38]
Location: Battle 9, pre-fight cutscene
Reasoning: Odd and passive. Run-on sentence.
Alternative: "If we don't hurry to Aspia, we'll be too late to stop Medion from battling the Republicans..."

[39]
Location: Battle 9, post-fight cutscene
Reasoning: Repetition of 'lighthouse' should be avoided. Also Bresby says in his next line that it's not as simple as just heading there, so it should be less clear here that battle is expected to avoid further repetition.
Alternative: "I believe the switch is in the Great Lighthouse. We'll have to head there first."

[40]
Location: Battle 9, post-fight cutscene
Reasoning: Somewhat disconnected from the context.
Alternative: "I don't think they'll simply let us through. Let's hurry over and find out."

[41]
Location: Battle 10, advice screen
Reasoning: Somewhat awkward.
Alternative: "Even if the garrison spots you, stay calm. Judge the enemy's formation and get to the lighthouse switch, Julian."

[42]
Location: Battle 10, upon capturing the lighthouse
Reasoning: "Defeat strategy" is a very strange choice of words. This carries over into the following lines, 42a and 42b.
Alternative: "De...Defeated. We've lost...execute the emergency failsafe..." "Emergency failsafe?" "The defense plan's last resort...I must execute it. Blowing up the lighthouse to destroy the drawbridge control."

[43]
Location: Battle 10, upon capturing the lighthouse
Reasoning: 'can' should probably be 'will' here. Her point is meant to be 'this is what'll happen if we do it, and I can't let that happen so I'm betraying you.' ('We' is presumably important because it shows that Jane's affiliation still lies with Bulzome to some extent.) The next line (43a) also needs a little tweak.
Alternative: "If we destroy the lighthouse, the Julian army will have no way of crossing to the mainland." "I'm sorry...but the truth is I can't allow that to happen."

[44]
Location: Battle 10, upon capturing the lighthouse
Reasoning: It's a bridge, not a gate.
Alternative: "The bridge should be coming down."

[45]
Location: Battle 10, upon capturing the lighthouse
Reasoning: "Success!" is a bit unnatural.
Alternative: "The drawbridge...We've done it!"

[46]
Location: Battle 10, post-battle cutscene
Reasoning: Poor Kate gets the stiffest lines. Clearly the translator ships Jane/Julian.
Alternative: "You're probably overthinking...Maybe she just wanted to spite General Defenda."

[47]
Location: Battle 11, pre-battle cutscene
Reasoning: Flows better as two sentences, I think. Next line (47a) is similarly odd.
Alternative: "You must be tired, Lady Melinda. We marched through the night without a moment's pause." "Fear not, though. We are almost at Baersol village, where we'll finally be able to rest."

[48]
Location: Battle 11, pre-battle cutscene
Reasoning: Overly long, confusing order.
Alternative: "We assumed the Baersol army won since the Great Lighthouse is still intact, but it seems the Julian army triumphed after all."

[49]
Location: Battle 11, pre-battle cutscene
Reasoning: 'use force to get through' is weak.
Alternative: "If you won't let us pass, then we will force our way through."

[50]
Location: Battle 11, pre-battle cutscene
Reasoning: Needs a comma.
Alternative: "You're not thinking of disobeying Lord Brutus' command, are you?"

[51]
Location: Battle 11, pre-battle cutscene
Reasoning: 'defeating' is a bit weak, 'army' is repeated, and the tense is odd.
Alternative: "So you are saying the force that's aided the invasion by routing the Baersol army is the Republic's ally?"

[52]
Location: Battle 11, mid-battle cutscene
Reasoning: "Huh" typically conveys confusion, which is not the intended response.
Alternative: "Heh, don't worry, General Produn."

[53]
Location: Battle 11, mid-battle cutscene
Reasoning: "Before her health is gone" is awkward, and the sentence needs rearranged.
Alternative: "So...we have to defeat the Julian army before it kills her?"

[54]
Location: Battle 11, mid-battle cutscene
Reasoning: Second sentence seems weird. Produn's really talking to himself here, not Stella.
Alternative: "S...Stella...suffering like this...She's already been sickly recently, and now..."

[55]
Location: Battle 11, mid-battle cutscene
Reasoning: Produn sounds too certain here, given that he hasn't actually made his decision yet.
Alternative: "Stella...I have to save you, no matter what it takes..."

[56]
Location: Battle 11, mid-battle cutscene
Reasoning: This all seems far too passive and calm for a man who's watching his beloved slowly die.
Alternative: "Don't lie to me, Stella. I know you haven't been well lately..."

[57]
Location: Battle 11, mid-battle cutscene
Reasoning: Feels a bit awkward. 'Julian army' showed up in the last two lines as well so it's getting repetitive.
Alternative: "Once I've defeated them...I will take the monk's life for revenge, then my own as atonement."

[58]
Location: Battle 11, mid-battle cutscene
Reasoning: Sort of a general thing along Stella's lines here, but "Uhh" isn't a sound that implies pain. It's more 'can I get uhhhhhh' which is not the intended effect.
Alternative: "Oh, General...Nngh..."

[59]
Location: Battle 11, post-battle cutscene (Produn lives)
Reasoning: Stiff.
Alternative: "Even with General Produn dedicated to the battle...he couldn't defeat the Julian army..."

[60]
Location: Battle 11, post-battle cutscene (Produn lives)
Reasoning: Names flow better in the other order.
Alternative: "I'm relieved that Gracia and the prince's mother are safe..."

[61]
Location: Battle 11, post-battle cutscene (Produn lives)
Reasoning: Kate, this moment calls for more than an 'uh'. (Normalising with the reaction in the branch where Produn dies.)
Alternative: "Ah, Stella..."

[62]
Location: Battle 11, post-battle cutscene (Produn lives)
Reasoning: Unnatural wording.
Alternative: "My life was spared by Prince Medion, and now it's been spared once again..."

[63]
Location: Battle 11, post-battle cutscene (Produn lives)
Reasoning: Awkwardly worded.
Alternative: "You helped us even when I was forced to fight you...I'm truly thankful for your understanding."

[64]
Location: Battle 11, post-battle cutscene (Produn lives)
Reasoning: Again, the first two clauses flow better in the other order.
Alternative: "You've spent a lot of time in bed since we returned to the Republic, but...I didn't realise you were that weak."

[65]
Location: Battle 11, post-battle cutscene (Produn lives)
Reasoning: Clunky, and I feel like the explicit reference to the womb is awkward.
Alternative: "Lady Melinda, could you mean...Stella's body is carrying the general's...?"

[66]
Location: Battle 11, post-battle cutscene (Produn lives)
Reasoning: Awkward. Same for the following line (66a) - 'evil enemies' sounds bad.
Alternative: "After reaching Aspia, the Julian army will be crossing the Great Wall." "We will surely encounter many dark forces on our way to Remotest."

[67]
Location: Battle 11, post-battle cutscene (Produn lives)
Reasoning: Awkward.
Alternative: "Your expedition, Gracia...I don't expect it to be an easy journey, but I must ask to accompany you regardless."

[68]
Location: Battle 11, Produn dies
Reasoning: 'blown down' feels like something from Garland in Final Fantasy 1.
Alternative: "You've beaten me, Julian army..."

[69]
Location: Battle 11, Produn dies
Reasoning: "wouldn't have been taken hostage" is very clumsy.
Alternative: "If Stella hadn't been taken hostage..."

[70]
Location: Battle 11, Produn dies
Reasoning: Last part doesn't flow right.
Alternative: "Stella...Stella...please, live on for me."

[71]
Location: Battle 11, post-battle cutscene (Produn dies)
Reasoning: Same fix as 60.
Alternative: "I'm relieved that Gracia and the prince's mother are safe..."

[72]
Location: Battle 11, post-battle cutscene (Produn dies)
Reasoning: Flows better the other way around.
Alternative: "General Produn wanted us dead. We had no choice. But why would he cooperate with that masked monk...?"

[73]
Location: Battle 11, post-battle cutscene (Produn dies)
Reasoning: First part should probably be multiple sentences.
Alternative: "The Bulzome monk's power has dissipated. My life has been spared...but the general...Produn...-sob-"

[74]
Location: Battle 11, post-battle cutscene (Produn dies)
Reasoning: Clunky.
Alternative: "You still seem unwell, Stella. You've been like that since the battle began."

[75]
Location: Battle 11, post-battle cutscene (Produn dies)
Reasoning: ~KateLine~
Alternative: "Allowing a woman to fight, even while she's clearly suffering..."

[76]
Location: Battle 11, post-battle cutscene (Produn dies)
Reasoning: Unless I've missed something and Stella is joining us, it shouldn't be 'We' here.
Alternative: "You'll be heading into a dangerous, uncivilized region."

[77]
Location: Battle 11, post-battle cutscene (Produn dies)
Reasoning: Second clause is a mess.
Alternative: "The success of this expedition...now it's about getting justice for Produn as well. Please, you must hurry..."

[78]
Location: Baersol
Reasoning: "Rebuilding" is a strange word choice.
Alternative: "The restoration looks to be complete."

[79]
Location: Baersol Church
Reasoning: "came to dislike each other" is odd wording.
Alternative: "However, since Brutus attended the peace conference...they've been at odds with each other. It's hard to believe."

[80]
Location: Baersol
Reasoning: "Hmmm" doesn't get across that she's misidentified you well enough. Also 'that is' is redundant here.
Alternative: "Wait...You're not the Imperial army...You're the army traveling with the Godchild Gracia, on the Legendary Expedition!"

[81]
Location: Baersol Item Shop
Reasoning: "I now realise" is a bit stilted.
Alternative: "I realise now how important my job is."

[82]
Location: Baersol Pub
Reasoning: "get wisdom" is an unnatural phrase.
Alternative: "I'm traveling to find wisdom."

[83]
Location: Baersol Pub
Reasoning: Stiff.
Alternative: "There were a lot of refugees stuck in town after the army raised the drawbridge. Thankfully they finally got around to lowering it." 

[84]
Location: Baersol Pub, upstairs
Reasoning: Second sentence is weird.
Alternative: "I saw the third prince as we were leaving Aspia...I thought he was a monster for invading us, so I glared at him."

[85]
Location: Baersol
Reasoning: Ordering weirdness.
Alternative: "When that Imperial battleship landed on the beach with the governor of Saraband and an Imperial prince on board, all of Baersol was on edge."

[86]
Location: Baersol, home next to the woman from [85]
Reasoning: Weirdly worded.
Alternative: "Between the civil war and Imperial aggression, our protectors are falling one by one...Nothing can stop the emperor."

[87]
Location: Baersol
Reasoning: Weird phrasing. Same applies to the followup line in 87a.
Alternative: "A rumour's spreading through town that our lord's turned into a demon. I think it might be true." "One time, I saw his reflection, and...he had a horn in it!"

[88]
Location: Baersol, Brutus' Mansion, upstairs
Reasoning: Poorly worded.
Alternative: "Diplomatic Harmony is Outdated" The philosophy of true peace is incompatible with modern reality. Today's diplomacy should value flexibility above all else.

[89]
Location: Baersol, Brutus' Mansion, wine cellar (say no when asked if you want to enter)
Reasoning: Repetition of 'drink' and 'tavern' is awkward.
Alternative: "Right. If you want a drink, I'm sure the tavern's got all the wine you could ever want."

[90]
Location: Brutus' Mansion, wine cellar (say yes when asked if you want to enter)
Reasoning: 90 needs a clause connecting the two sentences. Both it and the following line 90a need rewording.
Alternative: "Lord Brutus ordered us to keep intruders out of the wine cellar, but is it worth risking our lives for?" "The Julian army already defeated the town guards. The two of us wouldn't have a chance..."

[91]
Location: Brutus' Mansion, wine cellar (after the guards step aside)
Reasoning: Awkward ordering.
Alternative: "Lord Brutus will be furious that we couldn't protect the wine cellar. How badly is he going to punish us?"

[92]
Location: Brutus' Mansion, wine cellar
Reasoning: Again, awkward wording. Julian gave a '......' line prior to this, but I assume from context he was asking 'How did you know who we are?'
Alternative: "My father...abandoned the town for the capital after the drawbridge plan failed. The only people who'd have a reason to come here are the Julian army."

[93]
Location: Brutus' Mansion, wine cellar
Reasoning: "The enemies" is odd.
Alternative: "Mother... we shouldn't speak to the enemy."

[94]
Location: Brutus' Mansion, wine cellar
Reasoning: "father's scream" feels a little off?
Alternative: "I heard father screaming."

[95]
Location: Battle 12, pre-fight cutscene
Reasoning: Awkwardly worded.
Alternative: "Forgive me...Serving as my escort has made things harder for you, hasn't it...?"

[96]
Location: Battle 12, getting close to Edmund
Reasoning: First sentence is odd.
Alternative: "However, I was once a general that struck fear into the Imperial army."

[97]
Location: Battle 12, Edmund death scene
Reasoning: A bit stiff.
Alternative: "Ever since the Imperial General Garzel tricked me, it seems I've been looking for a place to die."

[98]
Location: Battle 12, Edmund death scene
Reasoning: First segment is far too long.
Alternative: "If I'd died on that bridge the day he betrayed me, perhaps I wouldn't have suffered for so long..."

[99]
Location: Battle 13, pre-fight cutscene
Reasoning: Unnaturally worded.
Alternative: "If he's as genuine as you think, wouldn't that mean there are two Yashas?"

[100]
Location: Battle 13, pre-fight cutscene
Reasoning: "World" repetition.
Alternative: "...foretelling its impending destruction..."

[101]
Location: Battle 13, pre-fight cutscene
Reasoning: Unnatural wording.
Alternative: "I am the demon that has claimed this vessel through Lord Bulzome's dark magic. Behold!"

[102]
Location: Battle 13, Kudan's defeat message
Reasoning: Second sentence is confusing. From later context we can see he's puzzled because he SHOULD survive this, but Gracia and the Staff of Besem weakened him. Next line (102a) has a weird ending with 'strength is leaving'.
Alternative: "Bulzome gave me...an invincible body. Even this much damage shouldn't be enough to kill me." "This can't be...my strength is fading..."

[103]
Location: Battle 13, Yasha's defeat message
Reasoning: Overly wordy and stiff.
Alternative: "Before I die, I must warn Emperor Domaric in Aspia...about Lady Melinda...before his plan falls apart..."

[104]
Location: Battle 13, post-battle cutscene
Reasoning: This one is difficult to write for, since it's a response to a question (Should we chase Yasha to Aspia?) but the same dialogue plays whether you answer yes or no. From future context the problem is just that he's got NINJA SPEED so nobody can hope to keep up with him until Honesty volunteers.
Alternative: "Our army can't hope to catch up to Yasha, but we have to find out what's going on with Prince Medion..."

[105]
Location: Chapter 3 ending cutscene
Reasoning: 'this incredibly stout gate' feels unnatural.
Alternative: "But how could anyone have destroyed a gate so incredibly stout?"

-----

These three edits are for an event that already played in Scenario 2, so if any of them get picked up then be sure to  edits is for a SYNCHRONICITY event, since it's a replay of the final cutscenes of Scenario 1 and 2. As such, keep in mind that a) these edits won't consider of the v25 updates to the Scenario 2 script, and b) if any of these edits are made, the scripts of previous games will also need to be edited to maintain continuity. I believe these should all be limited to stuff that was Scenario 2 only and the Scenario 1 stuff should be untouched.

The problems here are mostly just unnatural wording, so I'll skip the reasoning and just offer alternatives.

[106]
Location: SYNCHRONICITY EVENT - Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Awkward.
Alternative: "That's them! The ones who defeated the Barrand army!"

[107]
Location: SYNCHRONICITY EVENT - Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Weird ordering.
Alternative: "Don't think it's just us two. Our nation's hero Synbios is on his way, and his force will crush you."

[108]
Location: SYNCHRONICITY EVENT - Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Second sentence is a mess.
Alternative: "Is that how it was, Prince Medion? You and your father faked this abduction and deceived both your enemies and allies, all so you could invade Aspia?"

-----

Back to Sc3 only stuff.

[109]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Stiff.
Alternative: "These are my last words as the second Yasha, slain by the Julian army. Final Yasha, please avenge us..."

[110]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: The last sentence feels unnatural.
Alternative: "...so I defied your orders, and I'm prepared for the consequences."

[111]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Unnatural sounding and vague second half.
Alternative: "I did not raise you to stroll carefree onto a battlefield!"

[112]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Second sentence is long, somewhat repetitive, and needs a comma.
Alternative: "So the Julian army went instead. We battled the Bulzome Sect to stop their invasion, and successfully drove them away from Destonia Castle."

[113]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: 'to persuade him to help you' feels somewhat redundant.
Alternative: "We know you blackmailed Medion with threats on Melinda's life so he would help you conquer Aspia."

[114]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Frankenstein's monster of a second sentence, and the last line feels disconnected. (Also it was a waterfall rather than a cliff, but I THINK cliff still makes sense.)
Alternative: "Huh? Julian's been missing since he confronted Galm and was tossed off a cliff. You know him, Prince Medion?"

[115]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Messy clause order.
Alternative: "Emperor Domaric... It could have killed me, but I've arrived in Aspia as you ordered."

[116]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Missing an 'if' in the second sentence.
Alternative: "I would have preferred if you had been escorted by Mageron..."

[117]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: 'Biggest crisis ever' is a bit of a childish here.
Alternative: "The world is facing a grave crisis."

[118]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Likewise, 'our huge Destonian army' feels off.
Alternative: "The mighty Destonian army will..."

[119]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Doesn't fit with the flow of the scene.
Alternative: "I see... Then it's over..."

[120]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Second half of the second sentence feels unnatural.
Alternative: "The dream of annexing the Republic has drifted beyond our reach."

[121]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: This and 121a are a bit unusual, in that they're perfectly fine as lines but feel too informal for Benetram as a character.
Alternative: "Having failed in her duty as a hostage, the Empire would certainly put her to death." "With that in mind, I believe she definitely qualifies for refuge."

[122]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Comma splice.
Alternative: "King Benetram...! Then mother can stay in Aspia?"

[123]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Again, this feels a bit too snarky for the soft spoken Benetram.
Alternative: "Of course, Prince Medion. In fact, once the Remotest expedition is complete, we would gladly accept both of you."

[124]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Another comma splice, and 'birthplace' doesn't feel right here.
Alternative: "Medion, are you going to abandon Destonia? Your homeland?"

[125]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Too informal.
Alternative: "You mean JuMeSyn, don't you, Gracia?"

[126]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: First half of the sentence is kinda clunky.
Alternative: "It is said that during the Innovator's Legendary Expedition to stop the revival of the Thousand Year Kingdom..."

[127]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Second sentence is off.
Alternative: "We will learn the secret of JuMeSyn, then begin our expedition to the north..."

[128]
Location: Ch3 ending, Aspia Bridge
Reasoning: Feels unnatural without another comma.
Alternative: "Hahah, yes, JuMeSyn..."

